You’re not just going to get a 7 year-old…
Well… that’s not exactly true. There are cases in parenthood where you do just get a 7 year-old, in cases of adoption or fostering or if you become a step-parent. But at the time when my Dad said that to me, it was true to my life and it gave me such a sense of relief and perspective. I was towards the end of my pregnancy with my first biological child, I have a step-daughter from my husband’s previous marriage. Actually let me further clarify, I wasn’t toward the traditional 40-week end of pregnancy, I was just a bit past 30 weeks and was having some anxieties about how I was going to be a mom soon. How was I to go from just taking care of myself to having the biggest responsibility ever of raising a child?! People would tell me I still had time, which I in fact didn’t because I gave birth to my sweet, beautiful boy at 32 weeks, but intuitively and subconsciously I knew he was coming. I remember talking to my dad on the phone and in a panic saying, “But how am I going to raise a 7-year-old?!?” The sheer thought of it brought me so much anxiety!! And really, isn’t that where so many of our anxieties stem from? From the unknown of future events. In this anxiety-ridden case, an event 7 years in the future! Looking back it’s so silly, especially now that my son is 7 and we’ve survived!! And he’s such a wonderful little boy with the biggest heart. A boy who tries me to my fullest, but a boy who also brings me breakfast in bed if once in a blue mommy moon I don’t feel well. And tells me, “I would have brought you coffee mommy, but I know I’m not allowed to make it.”
Well, those many years ago while I was panicking over the thought of raising a 7-year-old, my sweet dad laughed at me, not in a mocking way, but in a way of allowing me to wake up to my foolishness, a way that I needed in order to snap me back into reality. He lovingly chortled, “But Tara, you’re not just going to get a 7-year-old. You’re going to have a baby and you’ll learn how to raise a baby. And then you’ll learn how to raise a toddler and a preschooler and so on and so on. And all along the way, you will learn and grow accordingly.” That threw me back into the moment and into reality. It gave me perspective and allowed me to breathe and let go of the fear of the unknown.
And it’s so true of most things in life, even though we may not notice it in the moment. Most things in life, we get prepared for, conditioned for, learning and growing along the way. The things that once caused us so much anxiety fall away when we realize that God has our back in every way. My dad’s wise words were a lighthouse guiding me as I went into labor 2 months early and then sat by the side of my son’s incubator after they had whisked him out of my arms and into the NICU for the next two months. I came to the very quick realization that I need not worry about trying to raise a 7-year-old, I instead needed to rapidly find the deepest, inner-most strength to figure out how to help keep my baby alive at that moment. And that’s in staying present, in the here and now. Being alert and aware of what’s going on in this moment. Being aware of what you are doing as you do it. So let’s join forces and do that today together. Let’s tackle the worries of this moment in this moment and let the rest wash away.
~Tara xo
Gnarly Things to Check Out
Scripture: “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” -Matthew 6:34
Let’s Practice: 5 min no worries (youtube.com)
